Monday, March 09, 2009

;Hilo! Yo heb rich bitter pilipins! Haw ken we hilp yu? (Filipino call center bloopers)

There was a time when I went through a period when I didn't have a job and I seriously considered working for a call center.  In fact I submitted applications to 5 call centers, aced the exams they gave, and was offered a job in all but one call center.  It was a really great ego boost but I really couldn't see myself answering or making phone calls all night.  So I declined all the offers.

Just a few minutes ago, I was rummaging through the top posts in Feedjit and found this very funny post from Pinkoy.

This is apparently what I missed out on.


Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info:

Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir?

Customer: My what?!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Telesales agent giving promo spiels:

Agent: You called at the right time, ma'am. We have a lot of freebies to give away, such as free installation, free equipment, and free DVD player. That's a great offer, di ba?

Customer: huh?!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Agent verifying info from the customer:

Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?

Customer: No, it's B.

Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Customer trying to return a defective product:

Customer: I need to return this defective sauna belt that you delivered yesterday.

Agent: For that concern, you can call our customer service at

Customer: Call where??!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------
Agent answering a call:

Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer).

Customer: So, I called the wrong number then?

Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please dont go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... 

Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Agent wrapping up the sale:

Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules...

Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me?

Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Agent getting coupon code from customer:

Agent: Can I ask for the coupon code? It's a bunch of letters.

Customers: Like ABCs?

Agent: Yes.

Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Agent giving the customer service web address:

Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in India , C- as in costume, U- as in you, S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O.... Oscar...V- for Voy...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Agent wrapping up the sale, trying to give the account info to customer:

Agent: I will now be giving you your account number and order confirmation number, do you  have a PEN and BALLPEN with you?

------------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:

Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me?

Customer: Say, what?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Agent trying to upsell a warranty:

Agent: Here's an example: In California , a plane crashed into a customer's house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer:

Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer?

Customer: What?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:

Agent: How much are you paying with your current provider?

Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)

Agent: (Surprised) Shet, magkano??!!

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Agent getting customer's address:

Agent: Can I have your address, please?

Customer: It's twenyfurfif - ysavan newyaorkgh road ( 2457 New York Road )

Agent: Can you repeat that ulit?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:

Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?

Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Agent verifying correct spelling:

Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?

Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Technical Agent giving customer support:

Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected?

Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama accent)

Agent: Yung yellow cord kung nakakabit ba!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:

Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin??

Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?

Customer: Hende naman.

Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?

Customer: Ang alen?

Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?

Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!

Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?

Customer: Hende! yong BELL ! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!

Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here,  ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns)

Customer: Pull out your what now?

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Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard?

Customer: What? Could you repeat that?

Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that.

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Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....

Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don't want to talk to you.

Agent: Who do you want to talk to?

Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.

Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.

Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.

Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?

Customer: Yes!

Agent: Do you want to talk to God?

Customer: what the f***! I'd rather talk to you.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Irate Customer: F***k you!

Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Agent: It's C as in CAT.

Customer: what?

Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow...

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Agent: Thank you for calling us, this is Candy, how may I help you?

Customer: What did you say your name was... Mandy?

Agent: No, sir, it's Candy.

Customer: Sorry, i can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?

Agent: It's Candy sir... Candy... as in Storck!

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Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?

Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)

Agent: Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Agent: Yeah, sir....hello sir... are you there?

Customer: Yes, sorry. I'm still there.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Agent: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?

Customer: What?!!

Agent: Oh, Im sorry, sir... i mean, do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Agent: I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please?

Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?

Agent: Sure, SIGE..

------------ --------- -----

Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.

Customer: What is that again?

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