Saturday, April 11, 2009

Senator Manuel Villar to celebrate Easter with duck eggs?

It will be Easter Sunday in the Philippines tomorrow and as if we didn't all have calendars with Catholic Holidays marked by red print, newspapers like the Manila Bulletin will probably display banners reading "Filipinos celebrate Easter".
Then again, you wouldn't realize it was really Holy Week, anyway. It used to be that as soon as Holy Monday rolled in, most commercial centers in Metro Manila would be closed up for the week. These days, malls are all open.
Holy Tuesday and Holy Wednesday were regular working days, for all intents and purposes.
Maundy Thursday was supposed to be the beginning of a long four day holiday. You'd expect everything to be shuttered up but no. Malls and fast food chains were still open.
On Good Friday, we called up Ace Water Spa to ask if they were (by any chance) open. They proudly announced that they were. We spent the entire morning there, getting massaged by the many water jet and air bubble massage treatments.
I got a much needed soak in a 38 degree celsius herbal pool and it really got all the ache out of my back, between the shoulder blades.
If there was anything Holy about Holy week in the Philippines, I surely missed it and I am sure, I am not alone.
Next week, thousands are due back to Manila from their vacations, spent not in church but on beaches and inland resorts all over the country. So starting on Monday, for the next 358 days, I'll be missing the peace and quiet of an almost empty Metro Manila.
In anycase, Easter is coming and strangely enough, some shopping malls here in the Philippines might be celebrating it in a big commercial way -- if last year's Easter will be any indication. Malls will have Easter Egg hunts.
With this in mind, I am wondering if Senator and Presidential Candidate Manny Villar will sponsor an Easter Egg hunt using duck eggs? It would be a great publicity gimmick and his supporters in Pateros, Bulacan, and Laguna (all duck raising capitals) may very well donate all the duck eggs that will be used.

In anycase, here are a bunch of duck jokes I swiped from Duck Eggs dot com
Why did the duck cross C-5?
He was tied to the chicken.
Why didn't the skeleton duck cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What do physics ducks say?
Quark, quark quark.
Why did the basketball player bring a duck to the game?She wanted to shoot a fowl shot!
So, a duck walked into a bar, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender replied, "No, this isn't a grocery store, get the hell out of here!"
So, the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender "Do you have any grapes?"
The bartender said "No, I told you before, this isn't a grocery store, and I don't have any grapes, now leave!"
So the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"
The angry bartender said, "NO! And if you come back and ask me that again, I will nail your butt to the wall! Now leave!"
So, the duck came back the next day, and asked the bartender, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender, puzzled, said, "No, why?" The duck said, "In that case, do you have any grapes?"
Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.
"What is your name?" he asked.
"Quack." the duck answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was stepping on bubbles." he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Quack," the duck answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was stepping on bubbles." the duck replied.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.
"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!" "Your eyes work", replies the duck, wryly.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"And your ears", says the duck,
"Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?".
"Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that... it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.
The landlord watches, astounded, as the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
The duck visits regularly for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.
The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!".
"Sounds marvellous", says the owner, "get him to give me a call".
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".
"At the circus", says the landlord.
"The circus?", the duck enquires, a bit bemused.
"That's right", replies the landlord.
"What, the place with the big tent?. Big canvas roof, hole in the middle, loads of animals?", asks the duck.
"That's right!", says the landlord.
The duck looks confused. "Why would they want a plasterer"
I have two ducks that I use as an alarm clock.
They wake me up at the Quack of dawn.

1 comment:

Junep Ocampo said...

Pare, papaano mo malalaman kung tanga ang sabungero?

Kapag ang inilaban niya bibe.

Papano mo naman malalaman na tanga yung mga nanonood sa sabungan?

Kapag tumaya sila sa bibe.

Papano mo malalaman kung may dayaaan sa sabungan?

Kapag nanalo yung bibe!

Kaya tiyak may dayaan sa halalan kapag nanalo si Mar Roxas!

Vote for Panlilio-Padaca in 2010.

Time to fix this country!

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